- The Confessional
- Posts
- How a Monsoon on Survivor Changed My Life
How a Monsoon on Survivor Changed My Life
A Special Confessional from Stephen Fishbach
Or how I finally gained the courage to write the novel I’d dreamed of
Plus get an exclusive map drawn by Erik Reichenbach.
It was Day 25 of Survivor: Cambodia, and the monsoon had been beating down on us for three days. It was rain like I’d never seen before, sheets of water gusting sideways through our shelter front. My tribemates huddled together, moaning and crying during the worst night of their lives.
My night was even worse. I became violently sick with a case of severe gastrointestinal distress (and you can hashtag that). Multiple times, I stripped off my clothes so they didn’t get soaked, left the shelter and walked into the tempest to be ill. Naked and drenched by the storm, I thought to myself—how can I have the courage to do this, but not the thing I truly care about?
I left Cambodia committed to writing a novel.

A night to remember!
I’d always imagined I’d be a writer. But I never had the courage to sit down and write. I guess I hoped if I got big-enough glasses, if I purchased another elbow-patched sweater, a novel would burst from my fingertips and flow onto the page. When Survivor found me in 2008, I was working at a tech startup, certain there was more to life than wireframes and conference calls. I wanted to go on an adventure, to strike off into parts unknown—but safely. A wilderness escapade with a CBS medical chopper standing by felt like the perfect compromise.
I remember the thrilling freedom of those first moments, standing on a hilltop overlooking the Brazilian cerrado, when Jeff Probst tossed us a map and told us to hike to camp. This whole outland was ours to explore! Then an air-conditioned van pulled up to whisk us away.
“So this is reality TV,” I thought. “We’ll pretend to have hiked for hours, and act sweaty and exhausted.” But when the producers slid open the doors, we weren’t at camp. We were in an even bleaker location. “Your hike starts here,” they said.
That was reality TV, I soon learned. The adventure was real, but boats and vans shuttled us between perfectly-framed locales and massive multi-stage challenges.

Hot, lost, and carrying multiple watermelons
After leaving Cambodia, I realized I had a story I could tell that I’d never seen in fiction before. I could capture the truth of reality television. Tell the human story of how people like me step into these shows eager for a defining experience, and find that hope both warped—and fulfilled. How everybody—both cast and crew—are obsessively pursuing their own personal winner’s edits.
My debut novel Escape! is the encapsulation of everything I’ve thought and felt about this incredible genre. It follows Kent Duvall, a has-been reality great, who goes back on TV desperate to recapture his faded glory. There he meets a new contestant, Miriam Bloom (shout-out to Mike!), who’s stepping onto the beach with the same naïve optimism I did, along with six other scheming, duplicitous, ridiculous contestants. Their goal seems simple: flee the island. Find the treasure. But they soon learn that the biggest challenge isn’t the obstacle courses or the venomous snakes (I had a krait in my book before it was cool). It’s the puppet masters pulling the strings.
That’s the other place I hope this book sheds light: on reality producers. I think people have this idea of reality producers as cynical gods manipulating the threads of fate. What I’ve seen firsthand, as a contestant, a TV exec, and through my work in a reality producers’ trade group, is that reality producers are really hard-working professionals, who love to tell amazing stories. But sometimes, their need for explosive TV can drive them too far. My character Beck Bermann is reeling from a tragedy in her own life, and her attempts to use the players for her personal redemption arc prove disastrous.
**
If that sounds like an appealing yarn, I hope you consider pre-ordering my novel at stephenfishbach.com. Pre-orders are so important, because they determine if a book hits bestseller lists. Thanks to the incredible support from the RHAP community, the book is on the cusp of hitting these lists … but still the cusp. If I’ve seemed a little manic with my promotion, it’s because the goal is so close, and hitting these lists would change my life. It would give publishers the courage to purchase my next book.. And perhaps most importantly, it’s one and done. You hit a bestseller list for one day, and you’re a “bestselling novelist” forever. Put it on my tombstone.
So I’ve come up with what I think is a cool pre-order incentive. I’ve asked Erik Reichenbach to draw a map of my fictional jungle island. If you pre-order a hardcover in the United States, I’ll mail you a limited edition copy of the map that Erik draws, while supplies last! This may take a while, because first Erik has to draw the map, then I have to send out hundreds of mailers, but I promise it WILL happen. Just email me proof of purchase and your address to [email protected]*! Include the word MAP in the subject. It's the perfect holiday pre-order for the Survivor fan, book-lover, or map aficionado in your life. (Even if it won't actually be ready by the holidays).
*(if you’ve already ordered a hardcover copy of the book you’re eligible for this too! Just email me at [email protected]!)

Erik hard at work - not on the map. But you can just imagine him hard at work on the map!
I set out with so many ambitions for this novel, but what surprised me most was how it took on a shape of its own, going to wilder and darker places than I expected. Every reality TV contestant thinks they’re the star. But ultimately, Escape! is about what happens when you realize that you’re not the hero of your own story, but a character in someone else’s.
I hope this book captures everything I love about reality TV: its absurdity and comedy, its occasional tragedy, and the desperate human need at its core. Most importantly, I hope you have fun reading this story, and are surprised by the places it takes you.
-Stephen
Stephen Fishbach is a Pushcart Prize–winning writer and former television executive. A two-time Survivor contestant (voted onto the show the second time by more than ten million fans), he’s worked on the network side as a vice president at MTV and freelanced for a reality producers’ trade group. He cohosts a weekly Survivor podcast as well as the literary podcast Paraphrase. Stephen graduated with honors from Yale and received an MFA in fiction at NYU. His short story “To Sharks”—an excerpt from Escape!—was published by One Story and garnered Stephen the Pushcart Prize. He lives in Washington, DC, with his wife and two daughters.
PS Want more reality TV content? Become a Rob Has a Podcast patron
PPS It has been a while since we sent out The Confessional; with just one referral - using your link below - you can get extra content and more, and let us know you’d like more of the newsletter
Reply